Good Wednesday afternoon!
Day began with tears, just like it ended up the night before. My worries are not as scary in reality as they are in my head. Having PMS since the day I’ve started being sexually active has been tough. I’ve never taken any medication nor any procaution. I simply did not know what PMS is until after my kids were born. Even knowing I still did not go to doctor. I thought I could manage by myself but the issue is getting worse and worse for every freakin period I get.
Having more and more feelings for my long distance marriage partner is not of a big help either and the distance causes me a lot of emotional turmoil during the days I am pretty low. Just imagine your libido was at the peak the night before and when you wake up all confidence and happiness turns into moodiness or depression. I think I’ve cried 2 liters of tears since last night. And although I’ve tried to change the mood by working out, cooking, baking… I still feel like I am sitting on a bomb.
I honestly cannot wait to see Ahad again. Although things are not so easy I think I will need to break my rules sooner or later, maybe January? Not sure, everything depends on state of my wallet. Nevertheless, I will do my best. But first of all the PMS Bi-atch… I’ve got to get rid of her.
I’m actually thinking of visiting a doctor soon. I feel like my anxiety is getting out of controll these days. My current solution – eating what I like, is not going to work in the future. Exercise does not give the right amount of healing that I need. Peace could fix the issue for a moment or two but there is no way with two active children at home…only hope – my next period in 14 days. At times like this I really miss being preggo… When other women cry, I feel the calmest.
Killin that PMS Bi-atch…. will I ever succeed?