Chandigarh Kare Aashiqui – Love is above gender identity

Yesterday, I’ve watched a really interesting romantic drama on Netflix. I actually loved the plot. The story takes place in India, there a male bodybuilder and a female zumba teacher work together at a gym. The bodybuilders dream is to win a competition and be the new champion while the zumba teacher dreams of a place that she can call home. They fall in love but there is a twist to the story because the zumba teacher was actually born as a boy. Once finding out about that the bodybuilder is feeling panicked and turns into a coward for a while but then he cannot ignore his feelings that are still there for the zumba teacher so he decides to approach her identity by researching about transgender and even visiting the psychologist where he is able to see things more clearly and accept his feelings for the zumba teacher. But their love is not supported by the family of the bodybuilder and the family of the zumba teacher did not come to terms with the gender transition either. In other terms, its a great a story of acceptance, love, friendship, looking beyond what is in front of our eyes.

Why am I taking it up? Because it feels so unique for a country with twisted perspective on sexuallity to actually make a movie about transsexuality and even send a message with it. We already know how it is to judge people but do we know how they feel? This movie gives a clear message, that there is nothing wrong with being different and that we cannot judge someone for not being able to be happy in their body. A transgender person is still a person. There is nothing digusting with it. Not everyone treat gender operations as a fetish. Some really do not feel like they are a woman or a man and we have to accept it and even though we may have other opinions about it we should not hurt other people.

To summarize the message of it all:

Love is beyond our identity. You either feel it or not. A person that feels for a transgender should not feel like it is backed into a corner. Same way with a transgender individual. Love should be a free choice. Traumatizing our differences in my eyes is the biggest crime in the minority of societies.

Thank you for reading & have a pleasant Monday!

Family does not look the same for everyone but that’s okay


Today was a very busy day. First thing in the morning I ran off to a grocery store to buy something for breakfast and lunch. Then it was time to take my first call with my “boss” that I will have for the next three weeks. Shortly after I had a follow up with Aarons teacher, then Austins teacher. Barely a half day passed and I’m tired but soon we will head on an adventure with Aaron, Austin and their auntie and small baby niece in her moms tummy. But what I’ve actually want to discuss with you are families and how different they can be. To be honest I thank Austins teacher for this topic as she mentioned a small project about families that they will be doing to teach the kids tolerance for differences as many of Austins preschool friends has different family constallations than what the society has introduced to us as a “norm”.

I am pleased to support this idea because to me a homo individual is not worse than a hetero individual or a trans. We are all different and whetever people accept it or not, it is beautiful to be you as long as you don’t harm people. With that I mean the difference between a poor person and a thief without boundries because a thief once it hurts a person , it is not a poor person trying to survive anymore. It’s a murderer. Same goes for homo individuals. I can understand people are against and call it an ideology and not as it is, a sexual orientation making those outside of the societies “norm” furious. I can understand everything. And as a hetero individual for the most of my life I need to respect our differences. Two lesbians or two gays raising a child do not become automatically bad parents. Yes, I know its weird or more likely out of “norm”. Maybe some will think that the children will be sexually abused by such couples but I know as well that not everything needs to be as we assume. The children may actually get a more beautiful home environment while living with homosexual individuals than heterosexual. Of course I am not siding here. There are cases of abuse too but what I would like to emphasize here is that we should learn to love and respect people.

You never know, one day maybe it’s your child that will discover something different about itself. No matter what your preferences are, as a parent you must at least try to understand. From my perspective its not the whole world to give birth to a son that feels like he is a she. My child is my child. Children are not robots to live the way we tell them too. They have free will, their own likes and dislikes. We do not need to like their choices but we should not hamper ther happiness either.

For those that are new to Shades of me I understand that you may not understand my point of view. I will respect that. For those that read posts written by me often or know me personally know that I did not have an easy childhood. No matter what I did I was never good enough for my parents, it can break a person but I was lucky to stand up after every punch thrown my way. I want to encourage you to be the best you. Don’t let the pressure at home or your peers to brainwash you and implement the language of hate in you. You don’t need to adore peoples differences but at least learn to show tolerance and acceptance. A gay is still a human, its someones son, a lesbian is someones daughter. There are people that even have kids with a hetero and just after years find out that they are homosexual, some maybe are bisexual. Nevertheless, they are still beautiful in their own ways.

With that said, no matter if you are a lesbian, gay couple or trans, to me you have chances to be as a good parents as any hetero individual in this world. Cheers to that !

Thank you for reading & welcome back tommorow !