Mercury retrograde twists your life? Mine too.

Good morning my dear readers!

Friday. Finally !

I don’t think I could be more happy than this. To be honest I am extremely tired and I do feel sick. I’ve been struggling with both fever, throat pain and cough since two weeks. When it feels like its over, it comes back. But that’s not what mercury retrograde is. Mercury is about communication, siblings, electronics, engined vehicles and everything that can go wrong with it. For some of you Mercury will stand for other things. After all we do not have the same kind of birth charts.

For me dear readers the hellish effects of Mercury retrograde just started and I believe it will not stop until 2nd of October. So first of all I fight with many people since weeks back. I’ve had even misunderstandings with my classmates. It’s like we don’t speak a similar language. Then yesterday I’ve got a call from the support team in my company because some child accused me of abuse. I will never set my foot again in Alby or the schools in the near area. Not only children are ungrateful, they don’t listen, spit on each other and call each other names but they try to overpower you, run outside in the middle of the class and well… I feel like I was at a military camp, not a school.

To make things worse I’ve just sent a reference person list before yesterday to a new employer. And I mentioned my current job to them. I wonder if I will get the new job now…after someone has painted by name in all kinds of dark shades. Hopefully, this event will not have that impact because I feel so over being teacher for kids who do not want to learn. I have a lot of patience. I don’t even hit my own kids and some strangers child will accuse me of this and that…. It makes me really sad and disappointed with this world.

Next week I will be all alone with my kids too and SL already announced that the trains will not run for some time as per schedule so I will need to take a bus with them every morning. Wonder how that goes…?

This weekend will be about cleaning first of all. I may be going out soon to buy some food in ICA. Even the weather is not nice today. But well… wish me luck 🙏. I realy feel so exhausted by all this.

Wishing you a better weekend than mine ! See ya!

Just an update <3

Good evening everyone!

It has been a few long, exhausting days but I am still here breathing for you. First of all I would like to share with you that I’ve started the Event & Project management course and it’s quite interesting except that I am pretty much aware of the steps included in the planning of events. I’ve got a few classmates from other countries and it can be quite tough when people mostly chill and my brain works double as fast. I think I do not know sometimes how to take it easy. But on the other side I am happy that I can motivate myself to do so well. I even went to work and then run to attend the class. Tommorow though I have a 6 hours working time. And if everything goes well, by Friday I will earn my first 2000 SEK for the month of October. For many people 2000 SEK is not much but there used to be a time when that much was enough for me. I really miss that time but unfortunetely I’ve got to wait until my late 60s or 70s. Having kids means having expenses.

I am so tired I had to take diet supplements. Whenever I go to work I forget to drink plenty of fluids. My responsibilities at work are not that many but standing and walking around, and of course raising my voice when needed really takes a lot of minerals and vitamines out of my body. Right now I am dreaming about taking a bath but again…unfortunetely I’ve only got shower possibilities.

Well… my dear readers… let me finish this week succesfully and then I promise to blow your mind with amazing content on Saturday or Sunday  😃

Thank you & see you soon !

💕

Do not marry, if you feel insecure about yourself !

Hello gals and guys!

I woke up with big sadness this morning but if only that. I actually have this fear that makes me anxious. And maybe reading the title you think it’s about me but nah… I’m not the insecure one. I’m the anxious one.

No matter how hard I try to be away from people that do not do me any well, somehow I attract them even more. “Nice” , right?

I’ve married two men, both were full of confidence while in the process of pursuing me. So yeah I believed them and married them. But when this crap called “ insecurity” crawl out from their side I do not feel safe. Not the first time and not the 2nd time either.

Marriage is not about asking for more time. When you marry someone it’s not only you anymore. You fuckin gave a promise to take care of each other for the rest of your lives and that means you cannot go “pasta”! You need to become steel because you actually married a life, a life that believed every word of yours! If you are going to indulge in self-pity why trap a person that knows what it wants? Does that person look like a decorative piece? Am I supposed to give more value to the man by just being stuck with him in the same place for years ?! It’s action now baby or the movie will have a sad ending.

Do not marry, if you feel insecure about yourself! You do not only destroy for yourself to actually marry the right way and have a happy marriage but also you take this opportunity from the person you married because you stubbornly said that you were “ready” for marriage.

Being ready for marriage is not asking for more time to proof yourself! You made the person to marry you because she thought you were great and she believed that you could do even more great once you are bond together! But that means pressing forward, not going backward in development.

To ask your wife for more time feels just pathetic. You wouldn’t know but she probably is more depressed than ever hearing you pitying yourself. She thought you were her hero but to see you becoming an infant in front of her makes her decision to marry you feel like a failure.

Let me tell this to you all who are in this kind of situations where the partner turns to be having issues with self-esteem and self pity . You do not own them anything! Don’t stay just because you don’t want them to feel sad. Sooner or later this relationship will turn toxic. You can support the person on their way but they should do their job ! Their job is to believe in their capabilities and to use them to provide for themselves and then for the person they plan to marry!

When you marry there is no space for crying and asking for more time but if you need it let the person go, don’t trap them because maybe you will never feel like “the right opportunity “ ever comes. Should I die unfulfilled because of your insecurities? Even if I ever become a cripple, I will cry but once I am done I will stand up with my spirit and fight for my happiness like never before !

Thank you for reading ! God Bless you all !