Being prejudiced does not equal love

Good morning my dear readers!

I want to start this post by saying that I’ve missed you all 🤗 . I know it hasn’t been long since the last published post but I’ve really had an intense weekend and only today I feel like it’s all fine. Of course my life without astrology would be boring so let me tell you that I feel the energy of Mercury quite a lot these days.

You may suffer due to health complications. You will find it difficult to retain money as you will have tendency towards spending on luxuries and pleasures.This is not a good period for indulging in rash speculative activities. Silly quarrels, misunderstanding and arguments can affect family’s peace and serenity. People jealous of you can cause problems, thus may get un-based accusations and create unhappiness in the family beware of them. You may have trouble from opposite gender so you need to be careful of them.

That’s pretty much what life has been these days. I fought with my mother, my uncle and even Ahad has gone through some intense time with his family during the same time. But this post is not about who fought who but rather why and what should we do in this kind of situations.

Last week as you know I went to work on Monday and then I took a leave for the rest of the week. I just felt too much overwhelmed by peoples rash decisions and their judgemental attitudes. As you also got to know I went to a police station. And that’s not for just any issue. I went to ask for advice as in my situation I really cannot make a rash decision. If relationships are like a building then you probably understand that it takes a lot of time to build but once it breaks it takes too much time to get it fixed. After all it’s about human life. No one wants to live in a building that can collapse at any time and endenger your health or life. And so it was the reason I went to police station as well. To know my rights and to see the problem I’ve been facing since a long time through the eyes of law practicing individuals.

What I got to know is that calling people names like “Muslim witch” or being critical towards others without any justified reason falls in the section of molestation and slander. If someone discriminates you and abuses you mentally, that’s molestation as well. If they tell you that they regret that they haven’t thrown stones at you, that’s a crime.

That’s what the Swedish law says about it :

1 § brottsbalken. Den som utpekar någon såsom brottslig eller klandervärd i sitt levnadssätt eller eljest lämnar uppgift som är ägnad att utsätta denne för andras missaktning, dömes för förtal till böter.

7 § brottsbalken. Den som fysiskt antastar någon annan eller utsätter någon annan för störande kontakter eller annat hänsynslöst agerande döms, om gärningen är ägnad att kränka den utsattes frid på ett kännbart sätt, för ofredande till böter eller fängelse i högst ett år.

To call someone different names that hurt that person’s integrity is a crime in the law of Sweden. It is even a crime to put on other’s crimes and actions which are far from the truth. Those commiting the crime of slander can be punished by penelty. Those that pshysically or mentally try to hurt another individual can be sentenced to payment of penelties or up to 1 year of jail. Of course the crime will be in the register for a few years at least.

So what is this post really about?

It’s about teaching other’s that love and care is not calling your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband wife, mother, father or children all kinds of insulting names. Tha’ts actually in the light of law a very serious crime. And just because I do not report you at this very moment does not mean you have the right to keep doing this all kinds of unjustified actions or say all this mean things.

Because the truth is I may have married a hindu, then a muslim but I’ve always been me. And the me I know has never wanted to harm anyone. And so I do right now but there are boundries which you should never cross if you really care about someone. Doing things and abusing someone mentally or physically because of a prejudiced mind is not love. Prejudice will always stay prejudice until proved being the truth.

Why waste time and destroy beautiful connections because of your weaknesses?

That I still do not understand but I know that once I cannot tolerate anymore how people try to keep looking inside my pants, wallet and my health card index next time I will enter the police building not to ask questions but to file a complaint againt the perpetrator. It does not matter if its my mother, uncle or anyone other family member. I have right to feel safe. I have right to live my life the way I want. I have right to eat what I want, dress however I want and marry whoever I want.

Thank you for reading !

✨ Wishing you a productive week ✨

Being a mother … being a daughter

Good afternoon! Welcome to Shades of me !

Since it’s Mother’s Day, I’ve been reflecting a lot about me as a mother versus me as a daughter. The only thing that comes into my mind is that neither of the roles are easy. Being a mother means I need to be selfless, even if I disagree on many things I need to remind myself that I deserve to be my own person and so does my children. Of course I could easily manipulate kids into doing things which I see right for myself rather than them but that would mean I am not deserving of being called their mom. When I look at myself as the daughter that always was obedient, I really get sad when looking at the outcome.

I do not have issues with overindulgence when it comes to drugs or alcohol. I do not smoke even cigarettes. I am not a party girl. I do not leave my children with strangers to enjoy my life. I study, work, try my best to manage the household, going to doctor appointments with kids. Yet, in the eyes of my mother I am always not good enough. I am getting criticised, abandoned. I am being put in a sack with people that are thousands times worse. Is it a crime to love people despite their differences ? Is it a crime that I don’t spit on gays and lesbians? Is it a crime that I am tolerant ? Is it a crime that I have my own set of principles? Is it a crime that I don’t teach my children to hate others?

I am a wonderful human being and so are my kids. My youngest is the smartest kid I ever got to meet. He wasn’t even two years old and he knew the names of dinosaurs and pets, birds and sea creatures. And my eldest is the most sensible person I’ve ever got to meet. He is truly caring and innovative. He is not scared of being different. While other boys play only with guns, dinosaurs or cars, my boy does not mind playing with ponny and dolls. While his dad can make fun of him at times, I encourage him to play the way he likes because no one has the rights to choose what is better for you. If any of my children said that they don’t feel like being boys or that they have feelings for boys nothing would change my love for them. They are still my children despite all.

Unfortunately, I cannot count on the same. My grandmom called me today asking me to wish my mom a great day but I cannot. Not after she gave back all the gifts and cards I ever gave her for Mother’s day. To me it’s like saying that I am a marionette. Do what I say then you will be my daughter, don’t do and you lose the right to call me your mother – kind of thing.

But I’m not. If I can love her despite all irresponsible things she had ever done. She should too love us the same way. And I will not do any bargains on this.

Thank you for reading & wishing you a wonderful Mother’s Day!

Do not marry, if you feel insecure about yourself !

Hello gals and guys!

I woke up with big sadness this morning but if only that. I actually have this fear that makes me anxious. And maybe reading the title you think it’s about me but nah… I’m not the insecure one. I’m the anxious one.

No matter how hard I try to be away from people that do not do me any well, somehow I attract them even more. “Nice” , right?

I’ve married two men, both were full of confidence while in the process of pursuing me. So yeah I believed them and married them. But when this crap called “ insecurity” crawl out from their side I do not feel safe. Not the first time and not the 2nd time either.

Marriage is not about asking for more time. When you marry someone it’s not only you anymore. You fuckin gave a promise to take care of each other for the rest of your lives and that means you cannot go “pasta”! You need to become steel because you actually married a life, a life that believed every word of yours! If you are going to indulge in self-pity why trap a person that knows what it wants? Does that person look like a decorative piece? Am I supposed to give more value to the man by just being stuck with him in the same place for years ?! It’s action now baby or the movie will have a sad ending.

Do not marry, if you feel insecure about yourself! You do not only destroy for yourself to actually marry the right way and have a happy marriage but also you take this opportunity from the person you married because you stubbornly said that you were “ready” for marriage.

Being ready for marriage is not asking for more time to proof yourself! You made the person to marry you because she thought you were great and she believed that you could do even more great once you are bond together! But that means pressing forward, not going backward in development.

To ask your wife for more time feels just pathetic. You wouldn’t know but she probably is more depressed than ever hearing you pitying yourself. She thought you were her hero but to see you becoming an infant in front of her makes her decision to marry you feel like a failure.

Let me tell this to you all who are in this kind of situations where the partner turns to be having issues with self-esteem and self pity . You do not own them anything! Don’t stay just because you don’t want them to feel sad. Sooner or later this relationship will turn toxic. You can support the person on their way but they should do their job ! Their job is to believe in their capabilities and to use them to provide for themselves and then for the person they plan to marry!

When you marry there is no space for crying and asking for more time but if you need it let the person go, don’t trap them because maybe you will never feel like “the right opportunity “ ever comes. Should I die unfulfilled because of your insecurities? Even if I ever become a cripple, I will cry but once I am done I will stand up with my spirit and fight for my happiness like never before !

Thank you for reading ! God Bless you all !