Feeling reborn & international cooking

Good morning! Today is beautiful. And to be honest yesterday was beautiful as well 😂 … And the days to come will be beautiful too. Why? Because I wake up every morning in two strong arms and then I look into those gentle eyes and I cannot get enough 🥰. This time it’s different. I do not feel guilt or worry. I found myself enjoying every bit of it.

Two days ago we were making tandoori chicken and I made some other variety of chicken too. I felt so happy seeing everyone enjoying the food I made.

Then yesterday I took charge of the kitchen once more and made three dishes. I made a chicken wok in teriyaki sauce, potato cakes ( placki ziemniaczane) that is very famous in Poland and momos which I’ve learned making from my 1st husband.

I’ve actually got some help from my current hubby as well and I need to acknowledge that the evening invited a lot of flashbacks. I see a young man that is happy to be a part of this thing called long distance relationship as long as it’s with me but on the same time I cannot stop but wonder if things will stay the same or will they change flavour after I’m all in. I’m actually starting to feel more and more. I still feel blocked but I do feel … love. It’s different this time. Because it’s truly just love.

And although perfect is what people usually want I feel happy with the way things are. My hubby is getting more handsome each day. But he also has this damn long sleep habit like my ex 😅 so I guess not many things change , only the perspective of things I suppose. Maybe because I’m 28 and not 18. Nevertheless, love at 28 feels alive and I do feel reborn. I cannot wait until he wakes up 😂 so I can finally get my cuddles.

Don’t take your time with your loved ones for granted even when your schedule is busy. And I will keep you updated. See you !

Shades of L.O.V.E

14th February, the one day that most of the worlds population go all loco, either by the benefits or the disappointments. The benefits are many, people usually are nicer to you, you get free gifts and once for all you can live like in a fairly tale (if you are lucky, that’s said). Then there is the other side of it, disappointments due to expectations. Not all people living in this world do know the importance or meaning of 14th February. Many, especially men treat this day as any other day. But to make it clear, even though it’s Valentines Day, rather than writing another great article about the grand gestures one could do for their loved ones I do prefer to write about the shades of love.

During these 28 years of my life, at least 19 years of it I’ve been totally a cliche kind of girl. I dreamed of a prince and a happy ever after. And no matter how corny it sounds I really believed that I was a princess to be rescued by a prince.

To be honest the men I’ve ever fallen for were all family kind of guys. But that’s it. The most romantic quality they’ve ever had was singing love ballads in hindi or urdu and holding my hand. I guess somehow I am a magnet for conservative men. Not sure if it is my fear for sexual diseases but I never wanted a night of thrill, even when I had a chance twice, I choose the real feeling over a moment. Love sure get’s many shades. You know the saying : “The third time is a charm.” and I’ve used up all my chances. What is very odd in my story is that I had a relationship filled with a standard of going to restaurants, travelling, my man choose and bought me clothes, he made a deep connection with my family , we took bubble, strawberry and champagne baths and probably there was no room where we did not make out, we even managed to have a fairytale like wedding at the beach in a tropical country owned by a 5 star hotel in but one important element was lacking – communication.

Lack of communication … it’s a killer. We did not even talk when we ate out, or when we took a stroll. Everything felt like a robot dance. Until now I cannot figure out if I was not interesting enough to talk with or he simply thought my ideas about life were silly but it did not work out. The positive aspect of it – I’ve build my own standards.

My 2nd experience was a total blow up kind of experience. It was so odd I did not believe it was actually happening. Do you usually get things served to you? Does someone that you just barely met let you stay for free at their place, cooks for you, carries your bag, pays for your train tickets and treats you so special you start questioning your relationship as friends? The cherry on top, the man has a good fashion sense, even being allergic to perfumes does not bother you when he is wearing it, he has a firm touch and his chest feels bulletproof, and this … his freakin name means Prince 😂(no joke). But as beautiful it starts, the beauty of it stayed only in my head during the 10 months we knew each other. Later it got so ugly I felt like moving to another planet. I probably glamorised the man so much he must have started feeling guilty and found my presence troublesome.

And here we go, my 3rd chance at love, my 2nd husband. A lover of drama, sings dozens of love ballads, does not know how to dance but would not mind to learn, does not care about fashion but when he does dress up he can totally knock off everyone in the room, the way he speaks, looks, smells and touches is giving me a feeling I am co-staring in a Bollywood movie. He may be few centimetres shorter than me but damn he is so gorgeous and caring. Have you ever been handfed before? I’ve been in his presence at least two times per day in the 14 days period that we spend together when I visited him for the 1st time. And here we have a total different story because although his family may have money he never shows off, even our wedding was simple without the whole parade. When it comes to my satisfaction levels I cannot lie, I loved the family but there is a but… I lacked expression. You know this fairy like elements. Whatever I got was real. And while being real is not bad, I lacked the excitement and looking forward to something. Because this time dreaming and imagining, the bubbly feeling… it did not happen easily.

I’m not very religious and prefer to see myself as spiritual. Sometimes though I’m thinking of a phrase from the Bible : “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.” (1 Corinthians 13:4–8a).

I’m thinking 🤔… why did I get to experience these different shades of love. Love through buying things and providing for your loved ones , narcissism and selfless love. I will probably never learn the truth. Nevertheless, it’s time to become real and create a new love story based on reality and not my imagination or expectations.

To be continued girls & boys…

Feel free to follow how the story unfold.

Happy Valentines Day!

365 days – And I still burn 🔥 for you

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 Okay… I’m sorry. It just tickles me everywhere. Because 365 days ago I met a messy guy in a hood and he asked me if I was from heaven. I told him I run hell with Lucifer 😂😂😂… It started with a joke… and ended with marriage. And it feels so different because I do not only eat what I want, I believe in what I want, I can speak back and he won’t be fussy, angry or criticize me.

We are miles away but he still wants me & I still want him. We cry, we laugh, we challenge each other. We act like kids at times and we shoot hot scenes at times in our imagination. We plan things together and he encourages me to create something of mine own too because I have so many talents. He is a great listener and Im a good advicer. I have the knowledge and he got the questions.

I am older. He is younger. I am smart and he is hot (especially with a rose in his teeth) 😜. He is a Muslim and I am a Christian. He is a Pakistani and I am a Polish girl raised amongst foreigners.

My husband – Thank you for being a stubborn ass & that you make me feel like a Queen although I am just a commoner. Happy Anniversary!