Keeping low profile?

Hello my dear readers!

Life this last 7 days has been quite tough on me. I must admit I was too much ahead of myself and misjudged the period of the transit I was in. I thought that the danger was over but nope… The mercury transit has not even started. So in this case I should not expect Ketu period until perhaps November.

Job matters will remain mostly below average and not entirely satisfactory. Work environment will remain disturbed and under pressure during this period. Risk taking tendencies should be curbed totally. You should avoid major activity during this period. If working as a professional, this period will experience hurdles and some challenges. There will be uncertainty and some confusion. You will lack full support from your own people. Possiblity of some legal action against you is also there. The health of your dear ones may create anxiety for you. There will be problem in the progeny during this period. You should keep a low profile during this time and avoid changes.

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I pretty much thought that Saturn period was over. Unfortunately, it was not. Not sure if I misjudged it because Saturn is retrograde but well its happening. Saturn is in Capricorn in my 6th house of disputes, diseases, law matters. I think you know where I am headed with this. Well… I was supposed to keep my profile low. I think I shall listen. To be honest I don’t have a lot of energy. Not sure if it’s the herbal tea I’ve been drinking or sleepless nights because of so many things on my head and Austin being sick but I feel like a corpse without any spark to life right now. I’m kind of sad and scared too. I have never been in this kind of situation before. I have never thought I could ever end up where I am. But I am all I have at the moment. I need to be strong for my children. They need me. And I need them in my life too. Hopefully, I will get a job and an employer that will not leave me with a problem like my current employer did. It feels just so unfair and cruel in a way.

See ya my dear readers! And send me your positive energy. I will need it.

10067 walking steps into positivity ☀️🚶‍♀️🌌

I guess this post will feel quite unnecessary but I feel that I need to get things off my chest. Negativity is not something I wanna feel today. The weather is beautiful.

I feel like I’ve been thinking these thoughts for years and until I do something about it it won’t move into the right direction. It has been so in case of getting our apartments, getting divorce, shifting children’s kindergarten. I am the person that had to take the steps forward. Its really bugging me 😔.

It’s like climbing alone with all the responsibilities in the bagpack, not having any way of taking a grip on something before you fall down. When it comes to parenthood I feel alone. I cannot even understand why me and the ex cannot part ways like normal people. It feels like he made me his maid and babysitter to OUR kids.

Not only do I have to be available at home 24/7. I need to cook, wash dishes, do laundry, go with kids to their doctor appointments, leave and pick them up from their preschool, take them out for fun. While I do this all I have my studies on the side and keep writing cover letters and sending CVs to finally get a normal job. While what does he do outside of work… ?! He is sleeping ! When he is not sleeping he is just staying in his bed watching videos on his phone or he is attending party’s or stays over the weekends with his friends. Where do I have my time for rest? Where?!

I’m forced to become a total b*tch and go outside because I cannot breathe at home. I need my alone time more than anything. Taking kids away from me is not the solution. Taking responsibility is! With that said, we both are having custody over the kids. But why am I the only one doing my part ?! Why?! Why ?! Why?!

I’m planning to visit Ahad for two weeks next spring but when I told my ex about it he could only show his anger face. Because I cannot take kids with me.When I asked if Ahad can come to me, then no because he pays half of the rent. He told me to find a new apartment instead or go to court to get the custody of kids first then I can do whatever I want. Then he comes and makes deals with me. That I can go but only when he goes to Nepal but he will take kids with him for a whole month. A whole month! In the middle of their preschool activities at that. Then I guess this clever ass checked the tickets price which is rocket high and all of a sudden I can go to Nepal to pick up kids after two weeks. Very funny. Very NOT !!!

Another thing I dislike is that there is no sense of structure, no routines, no divided space. He just comes and goes as if its a hotel. Everyone need to obey him because either his tongue is on fire or hand starts itching. Then he does not have a sense of priority. But the things you’ve read so far probably prove it evidently.

I’ve messaged him this Friday in the evening that Austin is sick. He throw up on me and kept coughing. He asks me if he should come. Just wtf…. I don’t have words. It’s your child. Get your priorities right else I can also say get out because you don’t have rights to call yourself a dad. There is clearly a reason why I message about these things. If I could handle everything perfectly on my own I would not bother to inform him.

Few years ago Aaron got a terrible fever. I was in school and my brothers girlfriend stayed with Aaron. Aaron started trembling a lot because his temperature started to get worse. I left school in an instant when she called. But when I try to call my ex. Nothing. His phone was off. He wouldn’t check his social media either. And when he finally saw I called, it took him 4 hours to come home, when everything was already over.

Whatever happens concerning OUR kids… I’m all alone. I HATE it more than ever while we need to share the same roof. It’s just so frustrating 😫.

Now while I am returning back from my “escape” walk, I hope he at least made kids some lunch. If things were fair I wouldn’t get upset. Honestly, I wouldn’t have reasons to divorce. Even a revolution wouldn’t take place if people weren’t unfair to their neighbours, employees, family. I just need a teammate.

So in conclusion young and old men, this is for you : Do not force girls to be in relationship with you, give birth to your children, if you cannot handle the aftermath ! If you want to be an eternal bachelor feel free but don’t touch a girl ever again or at least have some decency and use a freakin’ condom!

That’s all from my side. See you tommorow… hopefully with a more calm attitude 👍.