The coldness in his eyes

Good afternoon my dear readers!

I am not sure where I am right now, transit wise. But it kind of feels like Mercury is coming slowly. But I am scared at the moment to make any guesses. I’m trying to be optimistic but it does not belong to the easiest tasks right now. As you may have guessed after reading my previous post I got misunderstandings with some family members or more likely my grandmom. I love my grandmom but there are few things which I cannot accept and that is her desire to know everything and the way she makes things out of context.

Yesterday, she kept messaging me about my ex and my cousins birthday and I’ve told her to leave me alone because I am not in a place to feel anything. Then she interpreted this as me being controlled by my husband Ahad. I got really upset about this because he does not have anything to do with my current situation that I need to go through. In the end, although I was very hesitant I had to tell her that I got issues at work. I am certain that many people know by now and that does not feel great because I am innocent but people will always use this misfortunate event to poke where it hurts.

Photo by Kat Smith on

Today wasn’t that great either. Prajwol called the kids but of course it was more for his family than himself as he did not talk to the children more than 5 minutes in total. Moreover, both his cousin Suraj and his brother Ujjwal kept making fun of my child. Today I got so upset I tried to correct their behaviour and guess what Mr. Thapa did… he cut the damn call! How can a father do that to a child? Of course I did not leave it alone. I sent him a message to stop this bullshit. Why does a poor child have to listen to someone elses seek perception on body image ? He is just 5 years. Why does a 5 years old need to think how much it is okay to eat and what he should be eating?! I wouldn’t make it a big issue if not for that Aaron is very sensitive to criticism and I am scared he will not want to eat or even worse, start binge eating like I did in my childhood. I really hate that coldness that comes from Prajwol Thapas eyes. It will never change. I’ve lost totally all respect for him at that moment.

I hope that if you see any adult bullying a child or criticizing their body weight or eating habits you will step forward. Of course healthy eating should be encouraged but there is a way to say it. Awakening fears and guilt is not a way to go.

Thank you for reading !

See you soon again !

Keeping low profile?

Hello my dear readers!

Life this last 7 days has been quite tough on me. I must admit I was too much ahead of myself and misjudged the period of the transit I was in. I thought that the danger was over but nope… The mercury transit has not even started. So in this case I should not expect Ketu period until perhaps November.

Job matters will remain mostly below average and not entirely satisfactory. Work environment will remain disturbed and under pressure during this period. Risk taking tendencies should be curbed totally. You should avoid major activity during this period. If working as a professional, this period will experience hurdles and some challenges. There will be uncertainty and some confusion. You will lack full support from your own people. Possiblity of some legal action against you is also there. The health of your dear ones may create anxiety for you. There will be problem in the progeny during this period. You should keep a low profile during this time and avoid changes.

Photo by Frank Cone on

I pretty much thought that Saturn period was over. Unfortunately, it was not. Not sure if I misjudged it because Saturn is retrograde but well its happening. Saturn is in Capricorn in my 6th house of disputes, diseases, law matters. I think you know where I am headed with this. Well… I was supposed to keep my profile low. I think I shall listen. To be honest I don’t have a lot of energy. Not sure if it’s the herbal tea I’ve been drinking or sleepless nights because of so many things on my head and Austin being sick but I feel like a corpse without any spark to life right now. I’m kind of sad and scared too. I have never been in this kind of situation before. I have never thought I could ever end up where I am. But I am all I have at the moment. I need to be strong for my children. They need me. And I need them in my life too. Hopefully, I will get a job and an employer that will not leave me with a problem like my current employer did. It feels just so unfair and cruel in a way.

See ya my dear readers! And send me your positive energy. I will need it.

Mercury retrograde twists your life? Mine too.

Good morning my dear readers!

Friday. Finally !

I don’t think I could be more happy than this. To be honest I am extremely tired and I do feel sick. I’ve been struggling with both fever, throat pain and cough since two weeks. When it feels like its over, it comes back. But that’s not what mercury retrograde is. Mercury is about communication, siblings, electronics, engined vehicles and everything that can go wrong with it. For some of you Mercury will stand for other things. After all we do not have the same kind of birth charts.

For me dear readers the hellish effects of Mercury retrograde just started and I believe it will not stop until 2nd of October. So first of all I fight with many people since weeks back. I’ve had even misunderstandings with my classmates. It’s like we don’t speak a similar language. Then yesterday I’ve got a call from the support team in my company because some child accused me of abuse. I will never set my foot again in Alby or the schools in the near area. Not only children are ungrateful, they don’t listen, spit on each other and call each other names but they try to overpower you, run outside in the middle of the class and well… I feel like I was at a military camp, not a school.

To make things worse I’ve just sent a reference person list before yesterday to a new employer. And I mentioned my current job to them. I wonder if I will get the new job now…after someone has painted by name in all kinds of dark shades. Hopefully, this event will not have that impact because I feel so over being teacher for kids who do not want to learn. I have a lot of patience. I don’t even hit my own kids and some strangers child will accuse me of this and that…. It makes me really sad and disappointed with this world.

Next week I will be all alone with my kids too and SL already announced that the trains will not run for some time as per schedule so I will need to take a bus with them every morning. Wonder how that goes…?

This weekend will be about cleaning first of all. I may be going out soon to buy some food in ICA. Even the weather is not nice today. But well… wish me luck 🙏. I realy feel so exhausted by all this.

Wishing you a better weekend than mine ! See ya!