What’s up? Just figuring myself out.

Good Sunday evening to you all!

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything. To be honest my life has been quite monotonous, not counting the incident last week where I felt like all hope is lost. In the month of October I’ve been working on a project about hospitality management and I’ve been actually quite tired in my brain. Again being the only person to understand whats going on and whats expected from me…and three other people that did not have it figured out. Actually one of them I do consider being a “smart ass”. You know that type of a person that will suck up to the teachers but never actually do any work. But on the other hand, I do feel blessed. I actually managed to get a C in the previous course. And I hope I will not get all too much trouble from the “smart ass”. He actually consider himself worthy of getting the same reward for the project as me and the girls in the group although he wasted time on talking, instead of being helpful in the research… Oh.. I almost forgot. He did contribute with answer alternatives for one of the questions in the survey we had performed 😅… I really do hope nothing complicated will come out of this as it was a group decision to talk to our teacher about this. But the man was so stubborn and arrogant. So well…you never know with men…

What else ?

Hmm… I’ve been working on the new media technology thesis. I’ve decided to dedicate a sentence of acknowledgement to my mother. I don’t feel like repeating the cycle of toxic connections so that’s all I can give her for her birthday. I have figured out that I’ve been surrounded by narcissists, my whole life. And she is the most scariest of them all. But don’t worry.

Me staying low-profile is going to end soon. I did not get the job I wanted but at least I will earn enough for rent next month. I’m going to work at Stockholms mässan in Älvsjö for about a week and then let’s see. Maybe they will like me and I will get more work. If not, I will try getting something at a hotel or tourist agency. But I’ve decided to work with something that will allow me gain experience in the field of tourism.

As you see I look pretty even when I feel bored and exhausted by reading and repeating myself. I do believe that after this exhausting time is past I will be much more stronger and wiser. Nevertheless, it takes a lot of time to get anywhere. Maybe that’s why the feeling of monotony. I wish I could sleep instead of going to school tommorow. Unfortunately, its a seminar. I’ve gotten myself in big trouble because of the new course. There are at least 5 seminars and every time I have to read something or prepare for exercises. Media, Culture and Society is not easy but on the other hand I feel like its a gift in disguise from God and the course will actually help me to write my media technology thesis the right way. But well…maybe its me just overthinking again…

I will see you in a couple of days and this time I promise to upload the nakshatra series.

See you until then !

A man is a man’s wolf …

Hello my dear friends!

I’ve been pretty tensed the last 2 weeks due to the thesis in media technology. Not without a reason too. I did not know who would be rating my work but deep down I felt that the person that has always given me a hard time at school would do it and even give me extra baggage to carry as always. What makes it especially hard is that he is Polish and I am Polish too. Out of some reason this teacher is always finding reasons to make me work hard for my degree. I am done with two parts of the scientific courses in Media technology but only because the 2nd time a different teacher was giving me a grade and was focused on helping me clear the subject instead of making it into an competition. But I feel like this teacher is having some kind of grudge against me or sees me as a competitor.

My thesis has been reviewed once by another teacher and she did not pickpoint the issues with my research questions or the way I use my references. The only thing she pickpoint on when it comes to my method chapter is that I should try to explain more with my own words how I did things and only use scientifical articles as a reference. But this teacher wants me to explain every details that probably a child would understand even at this moment without me explaining it. The things which the teacher pickpointed cannot be solved in one week and he knows it. He could give me simply a fail mark but no, he prefers to challenge me and then stamp on me. It must be fun to make it more difficult for a woman with two children. But okay. Challenge is taken and I feel more than ever that I need to work my ass off and one day take his position so that there won’t be any uneccesary actions towards students and everything will be fair and square.

See you my dear people! I have some work to do …

Pray for me 🙏

Hello my dear people! It finally happened, I’ve submitted my thesis around 3PM today. And I cannot believe that I actually did it. After so much struggle… Right now all I have left is to wait … and pray that all the reading, interviewing and writing did not go to vain.

Not many people know but I’ve travelled the world in order to get the data to be as unique as possible. I’ve been in Belgium and Austria, then I interviewed a Spanish designing company. I went to three different museums in Sweden. You probably would never imagine but transcription of interviews is a real hell. It takes at least 4-5 hours to transcribe an interview that did not last for more than 20-25 minutes. I think the biggest challenge I had was with the Austrian museum where I sat in a busy coffee shop in the museum building and people kept screaming and running around. Luckily, I’ve recorded everything that has been said, else I would’ve been in trouble, a big one.

So what’s the next step?

If I clear the thesis, next will be trying to get an internship or just some other job to pass the time. I’ve applied for a Master program at KTH, starting this autumn, but I am not sure if I will get in. More than tourism, I would love to explore innovation, networking, design and teach others.

I am pretty exhausted. I did not sleep well these few days. I lost a lot of minerals from my bloodstream drinking tea like crazy and my eyes are killing me from all the light exposure. But before I go to hit the bed after a long battle, I would like to invite you to read the short abstract below.

Feel free to comment or message me to share your thoughts : ) Happy Sunday to you !