The coldness in his eyes

Good afternoon my dear readers!

I am not sure where I am right now, transit wise. But it kind of feels like Mercury is coming slowly. But I am scared at the moment to make any guesses. I’m trying to be optimistic but it does not belong to the easiest tasks right now. As you may have guessed after reading my previous post I got misunderstandings with some family members or more likely my grandmom. I love my grandmom but there are few things which I cannot accept and that is her desire to know everything and the way she makes things out of context.

Yesterday, she kept messaging me about my ex and my cousins birthday and I’ve told her to leave me alone because I am not in a place to feel anything. Then she interpreted this as me being controlled by my husband Ahad. I got really upset about this because he does not have anything to do with my current situation that I need to go through. In the end, although I was very hesitant I had to tell her that I got issues at work. I am certain that many people know by now and that does not feel great because I am innocent but people will always use this misfortunate event to poke where it hurts.

Photo by Kat Smith on

Today wasn’t that great either. Prajwol called the kids but of course it was more for his family than himself as he did not talk to the children more than 5 minutes in total. Moreover, both his cousin Suraj and his brother Ujjwal kept making fun of my child. Today I got so upset I tried to correct their behaviour and guess what Mr. Thapa did… he cut the damn call! How can a father do that to a child? Of course I did not leave it alone. I sent him a message to stop this bullshit. Why does a poor child have to listen to someone elses seek perception on body image ? He is just 5 years. Why does a 5 years old need to think how much it is okay to eat and what he should be eating?! I wouldn’t make it a big issue if not for that Aaron is very sensitive to criticism and I am scared he will not want to eat or even worse, start binge eating like I did in my childhood. I really hate that coldness that comes from Prajwol Thapas eyes. It will never change. I’ve lost totally all respect for him at that moment.

I hope that if you see any adult bullying a child or criticizing their body weight or eating habits you will step forward. Of course healthy eating should be encouraged but there is a way to say it. Awakening fears and guilt is not a way to go.

Thank you for reading !

See you soon again !

The way I celebrate Mother’s Day

Hello my dear people! Welcome to another amazing post ☺️. The season for happy mothers shall begin 😂 nah … I’m joking. But it’s actually Mother’s Day. I started a little early to be honest. In Poland we celebrate on 26th of May and in Sweden on 28 of May. I’m going by the Polish date. But instead of making this day all about me I choose to do something fun with my kids.

We’ve discussed a few days earlier about going outside to eat and play. Unfortunately the McDonalds in Globen ceased to exist so we could only play. I took the kids to Tolv Stockholm which is placed in the same building as Tele2 arena.

My boys were super excited when they saw so many different games in the arcade room 😂. They had a difficult time settling for one game for a longer period of time.

I think the most fun attraction for kids are those mini settings for bowling. I feel really happy that I took my boys to Tolv Stockholm. Except games, there are many restaurants, bowling, karaoke and night club. You can even find a small hotel in the building.

For me seeing them healthy and happy is the best gift I could get as a mother. Maybe it sounds a little too corny 😅 but it’s simple as that. Because if not for them I wouldn’t be able to celebrate this day. To have this little devils in my life is filled with unexpected events but I wouldn’t exchange my role as their mom for anything else.

Life is an adventure and it’s much more fun when you spend it on making your children happy. Still I do not forget to set boundaries, else I wouldn’t be able to leave that place 😂.

Since there was no McDonald’s and kids wanted to ride bus back home we’ve decided to have pizza for dinner at home but before that a snack at a nearby fast food building, without it I would have two dissatisfied kids.

Thank you for reading and stay tuned for more amazing posts ! 🌟

Feeling reborn & international cooking

Good morning! Today is beautiful. And to be honest yesterday was beautiful as well 😂 … And the days to come will be beautiful too. Why? Because I wake up every morning in two strong arms and then I look into those gentle eyes and I cannot get enough 🥰. This time it’s different. I do not feel guilt or worry. I found myself enjoying every bit of it.

Two days ago we were making tandoori chicken and I made some other variety of chicken too. I felt so happy seeing everyone enjoying the food I made.

Then yesterday I took charge of the kitchen once more and made three dishes. I made a chicken wok in teriyaki sauce, potato cakes ( placki ziemniaczane) that is very famous in Poland and momos which I’ve learned making from my 1st husband.

I’ve actually got some help from my current hubby as well and I need to acknowledge that the evening invited a lot of flashbacks. I see a young man that is happy to be a part of this thing called long distance relationship as long as it’s with me but on the same time I cannot stop but wonder if things will stay the same or will they change flavour after I’m all in. I’m actually starting to feel more and more. I still feel blocked but I do feel … love. It’s different this time. Because it’s truly just love.

And although perfect is what people usually want I feel happy with the way things are. My hubby is getting more handsome each day. But he also has this damn long sleep habit like my ex 😅 so I guess not many things change , only the perspective of things I suppose. Maybe because I’m 28 and not 18. Nevertheless, love at 28 feels alive and I do feel reborn. I cannot wait until he wakes up 😂 so I can finally get my cuddles.

Don’t take your time with your loved ones for granted even when your schedule is busy. And I will keep you updated. See you !