Vacation’s over. Action, baby!

Good morning!

It’s a sunny Sunday this morning in Sweden. And I feel in love or more likely I do yearn for love. Not sure if it’s because I slept with husband by my side (on the other side of the phone) or I’ve slept well knowing that vacation’s over. Nevertheless, today is a day I’ve started dreaming like years ago which brought me to thinking that maybe what I need is closeness, doing things which I cannot do with anyone else.

Watching my husbands back while he’s sleeping awaken a lot of feelings of affection. Whenever I am in Pakistan I always watch him sleep because he looks super cute. I am the one to cover him with blanket. He probably would take care of me too if not that he is a deep sleeper.

I’ve exercised this morning, thinking about my future self. Every day I see a improvement. I’ve got my curves back and feel more tight. I cannot wait to go on dates with my hubby in this body. I’ve probably checked dozens of dresses I would like to wear next time I am with my jalebi baby. When you are with somebody that knows how to give and take love, care and time, life feels very balanced and healthy. And that’s where action comes to play.

Vacation’s over. Action, baby!

It’s time to go back to work. I’ve got plenty of courses in hospitality management and event planning, a YouTube channel to run and of course Shades of me content to improve. But beside that pretty many bills to take care of. Money is in, money is out 😂. That’s pretty much my life. And don’t misunderstand me. I’m not chill about my financial problems. I tend to erupt like a Vulcano at times, sometimes it’s intense like a tsunami and comes without warning but I’ve just got to keep calm and keep working towards a better future which I hope will somehow come after my 33th birthday 🎂. And yeah… that’s in like 5 years but looking forward to it makes me want to improve myself. I know I may get sick if I try too hard but that’s just how I am.

Thank you for today & for the days on ward lord 🙏

See ya!

[+18] Let’s talk taboo ! How sexual expression affects our conjugal happiness ?

Good morning & Good evening!

Today is a hot day thus a hot topic is what we will discuss. It is not only hot but forbidden in some countries as well. Sex is something many do not talk openly about, even if they do, it would not be out in the open but for the most part with those whom you trust. There is nothing wrong about sex, its raw energy and raw is the purest form of everything. Let’s be honest, we all are homo sapiens. Even though we can controll our animal insticts and our emotional state is more developed than the one of the first people on earth we still can have fantasies or fetishes that are considered unwelcomed and even sinnister.

Marriage or a romantic relationship is a union between the people involved. In most cases it’s two people although monogony is practiced in some places too. Nevertheless of the status or quantity of your relationships, how your express yourself sexually may be a significant factor for your sexuality and intimate satisfaction.

As a kid and even teenager I used to be very much grossed by anything that could indicate intimacy. As I’ve become mature and ready to understand the way I feel, I’ve developed a different approach to sex and intimacy. My very first sexual experience taught me that sex is not about pleasure as much as it’s not about making babies. Sex is a way of expression. As much as the term “fucking” is about intense feelings of lust, “love-making” is about becoming one. None of the expressions are wrong nor right. Yet, the way we express ourselves in our sexual relationships has an effect on our satisfaction both physical and emotional. In other terms, while sex is just sex for you, some individuals find a deeper sense in the sexual expression. That’s where the term “sexual compatibility” comes to play an importance.

Depending on how we grew up and what kind of events had impact on our sexuality and development of personality, we will want different things. As we interact with our sexual partners, we learn to give and receive. The more open-minded you are to changes, the wilder fantasies you get to experience. While one person is comfortable in their body and is eager for more, other person can be quite insecure and thus not feel comfortable with experiments their partner is eager to take a part in. As much as we love our partner we often try to forget our needs or settle for less than what we need, in the end feeling miserable. On the other side those that couldn’t communicate their way to their partner and feel that they cannot compromise on their needs, end up indulging in extra-marital affairs and cheating.

In case your emotional satisfaction overtakes the need to be sexually active, discuss with your partner to come up with a solution that can make you both feel fulfilled in the relationship. A marriage will always have it’s ups and downs. Usually a woman becoming a wife is expected to take the duties of a house keeper which could affect the womans self-esteem and thus even her libido. A woman feeling unsexy is a woman feeling undesirable. A partner being your equal on the other hand will result in a positive progress and well established communication keeping you both alive and happy about your sexual expression.

It’s very understandable that with marriage and children involved things may have changed for many of you. Keeping your conjugal happiness alive means listening to the needs of your partner and creating a routine which works for the both of you. Whether you like vanilla or spicy – you can still mix the flavours in a way that will keep the sparks of your love and desire for each other alive. Romance does not need to be expensive. The way you speak, the way you smell, the way you touch can take your partner to a world where there is only the two of you against the world.

In conclusion, what others say does not matter. If you like role playing and your partner is all in, do it. Love and sex does not have boundaries. It’s like painting a picture. It can get dirty but does not have to. If you are sensual and love food, don’t hesitate and make your lover your favourite dish by smearing him/her with jams, chocolate, ice cream. You can always extend the play and teleport to the shower together.

Hope you had a good read!

See ya❣️

When someone you used to adore is hauting you in your dreams…

Hello my dear people! Outside my window is a big, wet disaster. The heavens are crying since yesterday, very intensely. I went to sleep around 2 AM and I am awake again. It’s all due the man that haunts me in my dreams from time to time. I don’t even have a clue why he keeps showing up. I have not seen him or talked to him since almost two years. I don’t have romantic dreams about him or any other that would signify that I still adore him, just being in his company and talking. In some dreams I watch him from a distance. There is a feeling that I want to protect him which is more weird due to the fact that he actually hurt me and I should be hating the man until the last day I breath. Why does he keep coming to me over and over again?

The first thought I got was that maybe I never wanted to cut our bond which is totally a crap thought. We should not keep toxic people around and he was kind of by being dishonest and hiding things from me. Totally confused I asked the divine just to get Ace of swords in reverse as an answer. I’ve asked for clarification and got King of Cups.

What does it mean?

There are many interpretations but I feel that the one that mostly resonates with me is that I was very deeply hurt being ignored for a long time. King of cups signifies a person that is a family man, a diplomat, a kind and sensitive person and indeed I’ve always seen him that way. In conclusion, I feel that I cut relations with him based on logic while my heart was not ready for it. Maybe I did act recklessly or maybe its the Rahu in Anuradha in my birth chart that forgave him all bad deeds. Not sure. But in my dream he was actually engaged and I talked to him as if I met a good friend after a very long time. I guess I miss his sense of humor. He could easily send you to a place with a lot of laughter and dreams. I guess until and unless I go again to Vienna and coincidently meet him on the street I will not know for sure. If even meeting him coincidently is written in my future…

Nevertheless, I prefer to remember him as a good friend, even though we cut our bond in a very dramatic way. And hope he will remember how much he meant for me rather than the last moments of our frriendship.

Thanks for reading and feel free to comment ! 🧸