Does my mother have a personality disorder?

Hello my friends! Today let’s discuss about personality disorders. I’ve actually been thinking about this topic for quite some time but I’ve decided to seriously take a look at it yesterday as my mother has shown a very odd behaviour. She actually liked a video of my 2nd husband proposing to me. After she has put me on a rollercoaster ride this summer because I married him without her blessings, its very unlikely that she wants to make amends.So I googled this morning ” My mother is stalking me.” and I found an interesting thread on a forum.

You can read about it here :

As a person there suggested I’ve read about Axis 2, personality cluster B and shit. I must admit many of the points mentioned are so true looking at my situation.

As (2020) states cluster B involves unpredictable, dramatic or intensly emotional responses to things, people or events. There are four different ways this disorder plays out :

  • Antisocialism
  • Borderline
  • Histronic
  • Narcissism

What is common with these four is that the individuals have a need of constant attention. It is very common that individuals suffering from a personality disorder do not have a clue that they have it. They may even feel delusional and will not accept that anything is wrong with them which can affect their treatment.

I feel my mother can have something from the Borderline as she needs other people to feel emotionally stable but then she shows symptoms of antisocialism as well as she has her set of rules and she has an attitude where she is right, others are not. Another reason why I feel my mother is suffering from Bordeline is because she chooses her favourites until they mess up and then they are her enemies until she changes her mind and makes them favourite again and then the other people are the worst according to her. It’s an evil circle. I actually told my brothers girlfriend today that I feel like a Boa snake is choking me. It’s sad but thats how I perceive my mother these days. I cannot breath around her.

The source even states symptoms such as :

  • Deep fear of loneliness
  • Unstable Relationships
  • Impulsiveness
  • Risk seeking behaviour

and more.

And its pretty true looking at her history of sleeping around and not having even a single stable relationship. Her buying things without actually thinking if someone will be okay with it. Planning things and forcing people to attend.

Then she has some symptoms of the Histronic personality disorder such as :

  • Strong opinions without any knowledge. And that’s like BINGO!
  • Dramatic behaviour such as sending hateful messages, making small issues into big.
  • A constant need for attention like taking a lot of pictures and putting on her facebook saying she is extremely happy when she is not.
  • Shallow emotions that change quickly. And hell-yeah. She can do it without knowing that she actually did it. Acting like nothing ever happened.

She has few of the symptons which are included in Narcissitic personality disorder as well such as :

  • Always expecting praise or favour.
  • Delusion. She has visions where she is a business woman but only ends up being cheated or investing in businesses she does not have any knowledge about or interest in.
  • Arrogance. She often thinks of herself as someone that can do everything and other don’t have a brain or guts to do anything.

I hope you’ve learned something new and if you are an adult and your parents treat you like a child, invade your space without asking if thats okay, be my guest. You can always reach me through my social media. Let’s help each other survive this not always easy time.

Thank you for reading ! And see you tommorow with a new post !

Reference : [2021-11-04]

The ability to trust in an “artificial” society

I don’t think that I am the only one having this issue. A choice between trusting and not doing it, to me is the most difficult of all. All due to the fact (and I need to be honest here) I cannot handle betrayals well. It’s like I’m sucked into a hole of pessimism. And having a rebuild self-esteem cannot help it. Because its not about feeling less important in some way, its about reliability. In relationships reliability is everything. Lack of it is the main reason people stop trusting each other.

Let’s forget romantic relationship. Trust needs to be found between a parent and a child, between the siblings, teachers and students. Just imagine we all wear a blind fold. We don’t know where we are headed but we trust the person holding our hand that it knows and will keep us safe. When it’s not happening and moreover we get to know things or experience thing which we never were prepared for causing us damage that’s when we really start battling with our thoughts. Sometimes leaving people that put us in disastrous situations no matter how we used to love them all due to the fact we all yearn for stability. Especially those that carry childhood traumas inside of them can be affected really badly having issues with socializing and making friends.

We want so badly to trust someone but we know that our safety is at stake. The decision is a difficult one to make because we can lose so much when we trust the wrong people. What I’ve noticed myself these few days is that reliability is very important to me. If someone decides to help me and then vanishes or makes excuses it hurts me a lot especially when I’ve looked up to them as seniors or thought of them as of my elder siblings. It automatically put me in a state of withdrawal and I don’t feel like ever suggesting anything or asking for their help. It just hurts too much. That feeling is so uncomfortable. And how to not become antisocial when people let you down with the simplest of things ?

Disappointment shatters us to pieces. It takes time to trust and feel safe again.