Hello to you my dear readers! This Friday morning could have been better but as there are clouds outside of my window and a fog in my mind right now I do feel kind of sad. I’ve wanted to create a space where people could find answers to their problems but today I must solve mine own.
Yesterday when I was on my way back home after work I’ve opened my phone and I’ve got a notification. I was too much wasted to open it right away so I’ve waited until I reached home. I still had to pick up my kids from preschool. Once I got home and did all the rutines of feeding my kids a dinner and helping them to wash up and so on, I lay down on the bed while talking to Ahad and checked the notification I’ve got on Kirva. I was truly devastated when I saw that half of the rent money was not paid. I fast checked my bank account bill and my half was sent in on time.
I never suspected that my ex would put me in this situation. After all he is the one with money ALWAYS, while I am the loser that need to take things on installment to get by. But this time it seems he got overconfident and misjudged his financial situation. Nevertheless, the problem is that the bill is on me and I am seem to live in a world filled with prejudice and no equality. While I have all the qualification due to my studies and my wide working experience, my ex has no education and plenty of references because he put his career always above kids (and me while we were still together). The question is, why do I need to be treated like a disease just because I have kids while he climbs the ladder because he sacrifice his children along the way ?Why?!
Right now I need to work in kindergarden, do the job I hate so much. I don’t hate it because of the kids but more because of the boredom and unjust treatment I have to experience. Sitting long hours outside, walking in circles as if I was an eagle and no one even tries to remember my name correctly. They make either their own version of my name or just call me “temp” which is way too disrespectful. On top top of that Austin got some allergy reaction and I need to book appointment at the doctor because he could have pollen allergy or the same disease as my mother has which is freaking me out. If I knew that my kids would suffer because of my DNA I would never give birth to any of them.
Nevertheless, today I need to figure out a way to make a living in a way in which I can develop as a person and still earn good. This part is quite a hard part when people do not believe in your qualifications because you became a mom early in life or because you are bigger than average people. There seems to be so much prejudice everywhere. Why do we fight for equality when people already made their judgement even before seeing anyone work ?
My friends, I wish you an awesome weekend! And do not worry too much, my writing may be affected by my emotions right now but I am the moon in the darkness, I will always find my way to become a sun once again.
See you !