Separate but together. Happy 1st marriage anniversary!

Hello my dear readers!

How are you ? Cuz…I am dead tired to be honest 😂 But even when I am tired I still have some moments in my life that bring me joy. Meeting my husband is one of these moments. Before I tell you the story of our first face to face meeting let me tell you about today.

Today reminded me pretty much about that day one year ago with the exception I was running late for my work, the SL app stopped working and then my SL ticket vanished but at last I made it. Indeed I felt for a moment like I am cursed and started wishing for a better wedding anniversary next year because what if it starts becoming a tradition, me having constantly issues with traffic and technology on that day. But then I thought that I am quite lucky. The bus driver let me in so I could go to Globen, later the metro stuff let me through the gates so I could take the train to Skanstull where I had been working these past two days. Then luckily Clarion Sign Hotel had free internet so I could ask for help and so I called the SL customer service and luckily even though I reinstall the SL app they could find my ticket and activate it again. Even when my life leads me to the feeling of hopelessness I gather the courage to believe that God will never leave a person in need and so it send me all this angels.

Our wedding day ❤ 2021.08.25

And then we come to my hubby and our marriage…marriage anniversary. I wish this day could be celebrated in the most colorful way but I suppose we are meant to work hard first and then enjoy the fruits of our labour. We celebrate separately but still together. I came to a conlusion that we should celebrate each day we are together rather just some specific days. Being married is a celebration itself is what I feel. I think I am learning some important things about long lasting commitment. I am not sure if I would see it the same way if we had lived together at once but that’s how I see it today.

I still remember that day, the day I held Ahads hand for the first time. It was very warm, soft but on the same time strong. It felt as if he couldn’t believe that I actually am there holding his hand. The plane landed in early morning. It was still very dark outside. But we still could see our faces and well, we gave each other awkward looks because we talked about kissing on the airport but with all people around looking at my white face it just felt too much overwhelming. So I just sat inside the car holding Ahads hand, we kept laughing and hugging. Probably at 2/3 of the way back to his home I kissed him. I just felt the tension was too much. I cannot handle nervous people 🤣. He was so much tired and lost somewhere in his thoughts he did not understand what he was doing nor what’s happening. We arrived at his home by 4 or 5 AM. All family members greeted me. They were super excited I guess. I was so tired I just changed my dress and went to sleep with Fatima in her room. I did not even have the strength to talk much. I fell asleep very quickly but probably did not managed to sleep more than 5-6 hours that day. When I wake up Ahad was feeling a little better and wasn’t so awkward with me anymore. It felt like I am seeing a small kid getting a christmas gift. He was just too much excited and overwhelmed by me being there. And as today is our anniversary, I really really miss him. But probably we will need to wait for some time to meet up again. I truly hope to celebrate one of our birthdays together this year or next year. I will work really hard for it to come true. So hold thumbs for me.

Happy Wedding anniversary to us ! Cheers!

See you soon with a new post my dear brothers and sisters !

Being prejudiced does not equal love

Good morning my dear readers!

I want to start this post by saying that I’ve missed you all 🤗 . I know it hasn’t been long since the last published post but I’ve really had an intense weekend and only today I feel like it’s all fine. Of course my life without astrology would be boring so let me tell you that I feel the energy of Mercury quite a lot these days.

You may suffer due to health complications. You will find it difficult to retain money as you will have tendency towards spending on luxuries and pleasures.This is not a good period for indulging in rash speculative activities. Silly quarrels, misunderstanding and arguments can affect family’s peace and serenity. People jealous of you can cause problems, thus may get un-based accusations and create unhappiness in the family beware of them. You may have trouble from opposite gender so you need to be careful of them.

That’s pretty much what life has been these days. I fought with my mother, my uncle and even Ahad has gone through some intense time with his family during the same time. But this post is not about who fought who but rather why and what should we do in this kind of situations.

Last week as you know I went to work on Monday and then I took a leave for the rest of the week. I just felt too much overwhelmed by peoples rash decisions and their judgemental attitudes. As you also got to know I went to a police station. And that’s not for just any issue. I went to ask for advice as in my situation I really cannot make a rash decision. If relationships are like a building then you probably understand that it takes a lot of time to build but once it breaks it takes too much time to get it fixed. After all it’s about human life. No one wants to live in a building that can collapse at any time and endenger your health or life. And so it was the reason I went to police station as well. To know my rights and to see the problem I’ve been facing since a long time through the eyes of law practicing individuals.

What I got to know is that calling people names like “Muslim witch” or being critical towards others without any justified reason falls in the section of molestation and slander. If someone discriminates you and abuses you mentally, that’s molestation as well. If they tell you that they regret that they haven’t thrown stones at you, that’s a crime.

That’s what the Swedish law says about it :

1 § brottsbalken. Den som utpekar någon såsom brottslig eller klandervärd i sitt levnadssätt eller eljest lämnar uppgift som är ägnad att utsätta denne för andras missaktning, dömes för förtal till böter.

7 § brottsbalken. Den som fysiskt antastar någon annan eller utsätter någon annan för störande kontakter eller annat hänsynslöst agerande döms, om gärningen är ägnad att kränka den utsattes frid på ett kännbart sätt, för ofredande till böter eller fängelse i högst ett år.

To call someone different names that hurt that person’s integrity is a crime in the law of Sweden. It is even a crime to put on other’s crimes and actions which are far from the truth. Those commiting the crime of slander can be punished by penelty. Those that pshysically or mentally try to hurt another individual can be sentenced to payment of penelties or up to 1 year of jail. Of course the crime will be in the register for a few years at least.

So what is this post really about?

It’s about teaching other’s that love and care is not calling your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband wife, mother, father or children all kinds of insulting names. Tha’ts actually in the light of law a very serious crime. And just because I do not report you at this very moment does not mean you have the right to keep doing this all kinds of unjustified actions or say all this mean things.

Because the truth is I may have married a hindu, then a muslim but I’ve always been me. And the me I know has never wanted to harm anyone. And so I do right now but there are boundries which you should never cross if you really care about someone. Doing things and abusing someone mentally or physically because of a prejudiced mind is not love. Prejudice will always stay prejudice until proved being the truth.

Why waste time and destroy beautiful connections because of your weaknesses?

That I still do not understand but I know that once I cannot tolerate anymore how people try to keep looking inside my pants, wallet and my health card index next time I will enter the police building not to ask questions but to file a complaint againt the perpetrator. It does not matter if its my mother, uncle or anyone other family member. I have right to feel safe. I have right to live my life the way I want. I have right to eat what I want, dress however I want and marry whoever I want.

Thank you for reading !

✨ Wishing you a productive week ✨

Are all people that we call friends our friends?

Good evening to you my dear readers from around the world!

This day could not be more sad than this but I know that by tommorow everything will be fine. Todays topic is on friendships. Why? Well that’s because I don’t feel that I have luck with friends. I am good at finding people that always try to sniff around, mess with me and leave me completely disturbed. I think the planet in Jhyestha nakshatra of my husband is to blame this time though. People feel jealous and go behind my back. If you want me to be more clear, fine I will be.

Since some time I made friends with a girl that is having a high Scorpio energy. For a long time she couldn’t find a guy that she would feel a connection with. I made friends with many guys online but as I wasn’t ready for anything and some of them reminded me of someone I really did want to forget I thanked them for their time. One of the guys I thought would be a good match for that friend of mine and so I’ve introduced them to each other and after a few dates they became a couple. And nothing is wrong there, I was happy that finally I could help someone. That’s where the disappointing time starts that makes me feel like she started to feel that her boyfriend is not enough for her. There is not a single conversation where she would not ask about my husband, sometimes even she skips to say “hallo” and ask straight about my relationship. A couple of weeks ago I’ve changed my status on Facebook from married to nothing but it seems like for other people it was visible as single.

To be honest it does not matter what stands in my relationship status, the question asked was wrong again. The girl took her time explaining herself but what she does not understand is that from my point of view a facebook friend should not ask intimate and private questions. She makes me feel on and on like she is haunting in her thoughts for my husband and she feels jealous that I have him instead of her. And don’t take me wrong. I am not acting on emotions here.It’s my intuition. Even my husband observed a suspicious behaviour of hers. It’s like she tries to compete against me. In the start I thought it was a coincidence, I try to explain it with her narcissistic tendencies that she herself said that she had but now I’ve got enough.

If you think that I am not fair and I act rashly then fine but if someone only creates a relationship with me based on social media and never wants to give that extra from their side, that is not a real friendship. She invited me to a beach in Nacka but as I could not go because my kids are out of controll at times I’ve asked her to come to Nynäshamn which is not that far for someone that you really consider a friend but she declined. The only time she pops up is when something is happening between me and Ahad. Then she asks me questions which are really uncomfortable.

Today I’ve reached the limit. I thanked her for the memories and blocked her everywhere. Because I don’t want people to sniff around my relationship. My relationship may be visible in the media, our youtube channel but whatever we don’t show online we want to save for ourselves. It’s our private matter how things go between us and we do not need a third party. Even in friendships there are boundaries which you should not cross.

Why I feel so worried about it? Well. In high school there was a boy that I really really liked. I’ve introduced him and one of my friends. My friend was supposed to get some information about what the guy thinks about me. I wasn’t very brave at that time and I did not know a shit about dating or romance. Few weeks after my birthday they became a couple behind my back. She only has told me once they were together. I flipped. I even felt like jumping in front of a train that time. She hurt my self-esteem and I had a very difficult time making friends with girls since then. Forget trust. I was to afraid to do that for over a decade. Too be honest I felt that boys and men are better as friends. At least they don’t bullshit and say as it is.

Thus my dear readers, I’ve taken a step back. I choose loneliness once again. Good news is that at least I can trust myself. I will never touch anyone’s man.

See ya !