Travelling with a baby vs two infants

Welcome my dear readers!

This week has been really suffocating due to the constant weather changes in Sweden. I am really craving some travel but since my piggy bank will remain empty for a few months more I had no choice but to travel back to the year I’ve really made a lot of travel – 2019.

I will be honest with you. I’ve always dreamed about travelling the world but I’ve never had enough money to do it. But in 2019, I broke my record.

Why? I think I needed to escape the sorrow I’ve been carrying in my heart. The first trip I’ve made that year was due to my grandfather passing away. Death can be a really awakening experience and so it has been for me. I’ve given birth to my youngest son Austin just 2 months before so as you maybe are guessing I’ve had some hormone issues taking controll of my emotional life.

I’ve travelled with my older son Aaron before and I must say there is a difference how things goes during a trip. While the older one does not like travelling much and ends up being really fussy after a few days, the younger one inherited love for travel from me and eagerly wants to see and touch things.

Travelling with one baby

The first thing about travel you would need to think about is probably the distance. A long distance travel with one baby will not be the same as a short distance travel. I’ve travelled both long distance and short distance with my son Aaron and as for him the short distance is better than the long distance travel. The other thing you would need to think about is if you travel alone or with somebody. Travelling with somebody may be a better option if you know your child is demanding.

I had a case on my way back to Sweden from Nepal where I couldn’t visit toilet for 9 hours as I was travelling alone. It was time for baby formula and the flight attendant would not come despite me ringing for a long time. My arms were falling off from carrying all the luggage and the baby and since he was sleeping I’ve just put him on the seat and run to the flight attendant seats to get some water. I barely made it there and my son slipped from the seat and started crying. I was both sad with myself and angry with the flight crew. And that’s where we come to a 3rd important factor which is the childs age. I think when it comes to long distance travel your child should be at least 5 years. This way it can walk on its own, it can eat on its own and won’t be too much dependant on you.

I’ve been actually satisfied travelling short distance. In 2019, I made a three day trip crossing two countries with my youngest. First, I’ve visited Brussel. Took around 3 hours from Bromma airport in Sweden. Austin was around 8 months. A perfect age to travel short distance with a baby. It was his first time travelling so he had been curiously looking around. Brussel was really beautiful. You have to try their Belgian waffles. During the flight my baby caught the flight attendants hearts and all the female crew took a picture with him.

The 2nd destination we had travelled to and actually stayed there for two nights was Vienna in Austria. Vienna is perfect for those that love walking. I do believe that Vienna is one of the capital cities in Europe that mastered to balance greenery and urban life. The rich culture and architecture is just a cherry on the cake. It’s a really family friendly place and I wish I could live there. It energizes my artisitic soul. And I think so was the case with Austin too. He pretty much enjoyed our walks through Vienna and the beautiful parks and castles too. Next time I would love to take both of my kids there. I’ve never rode the attractions in the Prater Park which by the way feels so fun.

Travelling with two infants

Well… As you perhaps may be thinking, two babies and long distance travel is impossible, at least for me. I must admit that travelling short distance invites a lot of unwanted adventure such as one of your children sliding down the stroller and running towards one side and the other trying to take the toys from the duty free store 😅 . You can really go nuts when they try to overtake you and ignore your constant reminders of how dangerous it can get if they lose the sight of their parent. My oldest son is the most stubborn child ever. It takes a lot of explaining for him to start listening to you as he does not like rules and boundaries. The younger one listens more but as he grows up he is copying everything his brother says and does which does not make things easier.

I’ve made my first trip with both of my boys by the end of 2019. It was Christmas time and we had been invited to celebrate Christmas at my grandmothers house in Poland. Although the plane travel did not belong to the best, they had enjoyed meeting the family and decorating the Chritsmas tree. If you are going to take many children with you make sure you have some toys or books with you. Boredom can really hit small children. Even at your destination make sure to take your kids to some adventure. This way their brain will be stimulated and will lead to a greater travel experience for them.

Hope you enjoyed reading about my experience! Feel free to tell me about yours. Maybe there is a place that you had been to and ended being an awesome place with lots of joy for the children.

Until later ! ❤

Graduation … but I am not there?

Hello my fellow readers!

Today is my younger brothers high school graduation party and I know I may seem selfish and insensitive but I did not go and probably will not go to many of the family events planned by my mother or at least where our mother will be present. Reasons for that are many but I do not want to give her more space than I’ve given her so far. I prefer my life to be without obligations. And I feel good with that thought that I managed to make a choice without feeling guilty, unlike the younger and more naive me few years ago.

When my mother found out that she is pregnant I was happy as I hoped I would have a baby sister. When a boy was born I forgot about that totally because he was still my baby brother and I loved him and I think he used to love me too.

Thinking back I was the one that used to take care of him the most. I used to wake up at 6 AM, sometimes before that. It was me that often took him to his pre-school and yeah…he used to stick like glue onto my leg while crying to not let him stay there. It made me realize how stressful it it to be a parent and I promised myself I would not let my child go through that agony when I have a family of my own. And I pretty much succeeded, although my mother tried to influence my choices and criticizes them still. I was the one that used to run from school just to pick him up on time. As you understand now, my life was about being my mothers assistant in one way or the other, where I had to be where she wanted me to be. Thus, I could not make friends with anyone else than those living in the same neighbourhood as us.

Then my younger brother started elementary school and had some problems reading. Life has shown that neither our mother, nor his father had enough patience to just let him read at his own pace. They used to scream at him very often and call him names. I used to see fear in his eyes quite often when it came to doing his home work at home. Even though I could ignore it and just be like normal teenager and only care about my own business, I did not. I took him to my room and read with him a few times and after some time he could do it fluently without my help. Maybe that explains why I only get a job at pre-schools and elementary schools. I am an empath but I do know myself that these things can take time. And no, I am not a saint. I do get frustrated myself with my own kids at times. But back to the topic.

I used to be close to my younger brother until the moment I married Prajwol and Aaron was born. After that I simply got tired of my mothers drama and her family meetings. And so it was even today. I am tired. I have two sons that has been quite sensitive and hyperactive these last week, to the point I’ve started crying out of frustration. I went to work and it wasn’t as satisfying as I thought it would be. I feel pretty much sick right now and imagining myself standing with two naughty kids in a crowded place, filled with cars and lorries fills me with anxiety. I know that I will probably not be understood and maybe it looks like my pride is in the way or that I am simply lazy but I am not. I did not intend on making my brother sad but I have to take a distance away from our mother, even if it hurts other people because I am not a child anymore and I think I’ve done more than enough during my teenage years. Now I simply want to rest my mind, my heart and my nervous sytem.

All I can wish my brother is that he becomes stronger and develops a feeling of self-love and self – appreciation. I hope he uses the skills he gained through his high school years to become his own person and not our mother pawn. I wish him prosperity and happiness. Being yourself is the most important. I hope he doesn’t give up on himself just because he is being pressured. And I will be always here if he gets sick of our mothers nagging.

Thank you for reading !

I wish all students an awesome future! – Don’t forget you hold the key to how life unfolds 😉.

Photo by Pixabay on

Being a mother … being a daughter

Good afternoon! Welcome to Shades of me !

Since it’s Mother’s Day, I’ve been reflecting a lot about me as a mother versus me as a daughter. The only thing that comes into my mind is that neither of the roles are easy. Being a mother means I need to be selfless, even if I disagree on many things I need to remind myself that I deserve to be my own person and so does my children. Of course I could easily manipulate kids into doing things which I see right for myself rather than them but that would mean I am not deserving of being called their mom. When I look at myself as the daughter that always was obedient, I really get sad when looking at the outcome.

I do not have issues with overindulgence when it comes to drugs or alcohol. I do not smoke even cigarettes. I am not a party girl. I do not leave my children with strangers to enjoy my life. I study, work, try my best to manage the household, going to doctor appointments with kids. Yet, in the eyes of my mother I am always not good enough. I am getting criticised, abandoned. I am being put in a sack with people that are thousands times worse. Is it a crime to love people despite their differences ? Is it a crime that I don’t spit on gays and lesbians? Is it a crime that I am tolerant ? Is it a crime that I have my own set of principles? Is it a crime that I don’t teach my children to hate others?

I am a wonderful human being and so are my kids. My youngest is the smartest kid I ever got to meet. He wasn’t even two years old and he knew the names of dinosaurs and pets, birds and sea creatures. And my eldest is the most sensible person I’ve ever got to meet. He is truly caring and innovative. He is not scared of being different. While other boys play only with guns, dinosaurs or cars, my boy does not mind playing with ponny and dolls. While his dad can make fun of him at times, I encourage him to play the way he likes because no one has the rights to choose what is better for you. If any of my children said that they don’t feel like being boys or that they have feelings for boys nothing would change my love for them. They are still my children despite all.

Unfortunately, I cannot count on the same. My grandmom called me today asking me to wish my mom a great day but I cannot. Not after she gave back all the gifts and cards I ever gave her for Mother’s day. To me it’s like saying that I am a marionette. Do what I say then you will be my daughter, don’t do and you lose the right to call me your mother – kind of thing.

But I’m not. If I can love her despite all irresponsible things she had ever done. She should too love us the same way. And I will not do any bargains on this.

Thank you for reading & wishing you a wonderful Mother’s Day!

The way I celebrate Mother’s Day

Hello my dear people! Welcome to another amazing post ☺️. The season for happy mothers shall begin 😂 nah … I’m joking. But it’s actually Mother’s Day. I started a little early to be honest. In Poland we celebrate on 26th of May and in Sweden on 28 of May. I’m going by the Polish date. But instead of making this day all about me I choose to do something fun with my kids.

We’ve discussed a few days earlier about going outside to eat and play. Unfortunately the McDonalds in Globen ceased to exist so we could only play. I took the kids to Tolv Stockholm which is placed in the same building as Tele2 arena.

My boys were super excited when they saw so many different games in the arcade room 😂. They had a difficult time settling for one game for a longer period of time.

I think the most fun attraction for kids are those mini settings for bowling. I feel really happy that I took my boys to Tolv Stockholm. Except games, there are many restaurants, bowling, karaoke and night club. You can even find a small hotel in the building.

For me seeing them healthy and happy is the best gift I could get as a mother. Maybe it sounds a little too corny 😅 but it’s simple as that. Because if not for them I wouldn’t be able to celebrate this day. To have this little devils in my life is filled with unexpected events but I wouldn’t exchange my role as their mom for anything else.

Life is an adventure and it’s much more fun when you spend it on making your children happy. Still I do not forget to set boundaries, else I wouldn’t be able to leave that place 😂.

Since there was no McDonald’s and kids wanted to ride bus back home we’ve decided to have pizza for dinner at home but before that a snack at a nearby fast food building, without it I would have two dissatisfied kids.

Thank you for reading and stay tuned for more amazing posts ! 🌟

Like a thorn

Hello! How are you ? Myself , I do feel bloated and ready to puke but not because of overreating but rather because of disappointment. My mother was here. Of course she came with an agenda undercover. Her criticism does not have an end. Her ignorance as well. But to turn into a complete child, I did not suspect it coming forward, yet it happened. She showed her tongue to Ahad saying I don’t wanna see “that thing”.

Then she said she will come on tuesday for photos because its my Aarons birthday and that my childs dad does not need to be here, she just needs the photos. Wanna be a show off huh…. . And so it could not end at this. When she starts feeling like she got all controll over people there are not breaks. She must snook around and find faults. I’ve never seen more dissatisfied person in my whole life. And there are so many thoughts running. What does she think gives her a right to criticize me ? She should check her own household, its not clean at all.

I’ve painted, put on wallpaper, clean the floors and cabinets. I threw so many things, most of it was her crap. Yet, she still wants me to be more than I am even though I’ve never asked her to revaluate my efforts. Whatever I did was for my children, not her.

And so I came to a conclusion after thinking things over, I will protect my child with all I got. I will not let anyone to use my son to create any illusions. Because my mother is not the good person she used to be. She is selfish, wicked, manipulative and egocentric. Whatever good she has done was for her own benefit. So that people will see how great of a person she is but in reality she is still a small girl asking for attention. Well… she choose a wrong way to receive. She borrows money from every corner to live a life she does not have money for. It started with me as a teenager. She took all I had. Now it does not matter if its my siblings, strangers or my ex-husband. She barely pays anything back to anyone, yet still acts lika a fucking diva. When will this stop? Does anyone of you know? When does your parent act their age? As for me, I am gonna block her number again. Not sure who gave it her but I don’t need her. Who needs a mother that taunts you? Who?! Not me. And my kids will not lose anything having a grandmom that will only make them feel guilty over who they truly are, half Nepalese- half Polish , living in Sweden.

I think I am pretty well now… My horoscope said that there will be a fight so be it. But I cannot lie to myself. I will never have a truly caring mother. She died while bathing in money that wasn’t hers.

See you until next time !

Photo by Hunter Harmon on