Feeling reborn & international cooking

Good morning! Today is beautiful. And to be honest yesterday was beautiful as well 😂 … And the days to come will be beautiful too. Why? Because I wake up every morning in two strong arms and then I look into those gentle eyes and I cannot get enough 🥰. This time it’s different. I do not feel guilt or worry. I found myself enjoying every bit of it.

Two days ago we were making tandoori chicken and I made some other variety of chicken too. I felt so happy seeing everyone enjoying the food I made.

Then yesterday I took charge of the kitchen once more and made three dishes. I made a chicken wok in teriyaki sauce, potato cakes ( placki ziemniaczane) that is very famous in Poland and momos which I’ve learned making from my 1st husband.

I’ve actually got some help from my current hubby as well and I need to acknowledge that the evening invited a lot of flashbacks. I see a young man that is happy to be a part of this thing called long distance relationship as long as it’s with me but on the same time I cannot stop but wonder if things will stay the same or will they change flavour after I’m all in. I’m actually starting to feel more and more. I still feel blocked but I do feel … love. It’s different this time. Because it’s truly just love.

And although perfect is what people usually want I feel happy with the way things are. My hubby is getting more handsome each day. But he also has this damn long sleep habit like my ex 😅 so I guess not many things change , only the perspective of things I suppose. Maybe because I’m 28 and not 18. Nevertheless, love at 28 feels alive and I do feel reborn. I cannot wait until he wakes up 😂 so I can finally get my cuddles.

Don’t take your time with your loved ones for granted even when your schedule is busy. And I will keep you updated. See you !

When the sun is peeking at me outside of the window

Hello! What a beautiful Saturday we have in Stockholm. It’s 5th February and there is actually no snow outside. Winters has been short the last 4 years. Even though the world has stopped for days, months or years in many places on our planet.

And here I am enjoying a cup of coffee with milk and sugar. It’s been a while since I really could enjoy some coffee in my own company. Maybe that’s why the sun is shining, so that I could enjoy this day to the fullest, even though there are many things for me to take care of. I feel calm and ready to dig deep into the space of science and knowledge.

I do not feel anxious anymore as I felt few days ago although I still could feel at times, why try when your work will not be appreciated anyways. But I still have a slice of hope that it will not be all that bad and that I will finally reach somewhere.

In a few days is my 2nd sons birthday. When I look back those three years, I’ve grown so much, yet not many people can actually see it. Maybe that’s why I feel so happy that at least the weather is nice when I try to finish what I’ve started. I really want to move forward but I do feel like my wings are cut whenever I try to fly. Being married to Ahad I feel good, very good actually but the distance is killin… both of us actually. That’s why I want to work even harder, so maybe one day our marriage will be shining brightly like a sun.

I thought a lot about the future I want. In my imagination there is still a lot of discovery, travel, delicious food from the all corners of the world, my kids enjoying their childhood and my man being by my side and sharing those moments with me. But I’ve learned that dreams are only permanent on paper. In reality everything changes and what made you once drawn to each other, makes you feel tired. I guess even eating the same food over and over again, makes one sick so … no wonders. Yet, I still want to work hard. My kids need me to be strong, they depend on me, no matter what my condition may be, they look up to me.

And so I am actually ready for another cup of coffee with milk and sugar. Digging deeper is quite a time consuming process. But at least I will not be poor on knowledge although it cannot sustain my thirst.

Have a nice weekend !

An alcohol free house ?

Yes, my dear friends. For many just like for me, an alcohol free household is a dream. Not that alcohol is a devils innovation, because a glass of red wine or champagne tastes delicious but because I’ve grown up amongst people that turn to monster’s after consuming this intoxicating drink.

It’s said that alcohol will show you the truth. I can agree with that to 200%. And most people that drink in my company has gone nuts, became someone opposite of what they make themselves to be while sober. All insecurities come out, there are tears, anger and shutting doors. Some people become more manipulative than ever. They will either create a situation which puts their or others life in danger or start their self pity drama crying and demanding people to convince them that they are loved by them. No matter what leaves your lips, they will interpret it to the opposite of what you meant just to become the center of universe as long as they are considered drunk.

I used to be scared as a child. I would hide sharp knives and tools. I would gather the courage to protect people from self harm or from harming others as soon as I saw the discussions heating up. There was this time I used to get a stomachache when seeing drunk people. I would always think of the worse. Killers, abusers, rapist – I would categorise drunk people like this because most crimes happens when you are not sober. You would always say that it wasn’t you but alcohol speaking. But alcohol does not speak, it only relaxes your brain. It’s like taking handcuffs off, you can do things which you would not do when your conscience is working properly. Alcohol will free you from asking yourself questions and considering actions. That’s why, alcohol is not for someone that does not have a hold on their emotions.

While I was growing up, I promised myself that my kids would not have to go through the same thing. Unfortunately, past does not want to be forgotten. So instead of forgetting I’ve decided to face it, look it in the eye and call it a coward, an insecure being that does not deserve to even breath the same air as me. Because being a mother, I need to forget my pain and my fear. I need to be brave enough to show my children what is wrong and what is right, how to treat people and which consequences come with harming others.

Being happy or healthy is an responsibility as well. And no one can do this for me. It’s my choice, because I am the shaper of my future. And I want my future to be beautiful, filled with understanding and compassion. I may not be supported by many, I may even be criticised by the people closest to me but my choice is to live a life that will benefit my growth, even if it means I would experience loneliness at times. Though, I am never forgetting that this life is not for me to be happy. I am here to teach and learn lessons. And so I shall live.

God bless you all & thank you for reading !

A Christmas sallad

Do you prefer eating vegetables? Maybe you are not fond of heavy eating?

Although Christmas is over I’ve got for you a recipe for a sallad which can be eaten anytime, with meat or without. Your choice. And it’s super delicious!

All you need are four ingredients:

  • A sallad mix
  • Cooked, yellow lentils
  • Diced, cucumber
  • Pomegranate

The sallad can be served with salmon, meat balls or without any meat at all. It’s quick, healthy, has exclusive look and is super duper delicious 🤤. You can add a little bit of tzatziki on the side. It will balance the nutty – sweet taste of the sallad.

Enjoy !

Ginger cookies for Santa

Happy Sunday to you all! There is barely any snow outside of my window but it does not mean we do not feel the Christmas atmosphere approaching. For many this Christmas will be a very sad one due to death of their dear ones or because they’ve lost something important to them but there are also people that despite all things going wrong whole year do their best to not show it and give a try to the X-mas preparations such as cooking or baking.

I have two very active boys at home that love experimenting and so they love to bake as well. Today as I passed the cooler in the grocery store I found some adorable christmas coookie stamps and gingerbread dough. I used to be very busy earlier this year and couldn’t do too many activities with my kids so I’ve decided to sit down with them and let them create.

Both Aaron and Austin were super happy to make their own cookies. They made cookies that looked like Santa Claus, snowman, snow flake and a christmas tree. You could feel the christmas coming with the scent of gingerbread spreading in the whole apartment.

Aaron tried to decorate his cookies but they were nice without anything so we left them that way. After the cookies cooled down Aaron and Austin sat down with a glass of warm milk and enjoyed their yummy baking. I placed the remaining cookies in a jar for the kids to enjoy in the upcoming days. And who knows maybe Santa will have a bite while leaving the christmas presents on 24th of December.

Thank you for reading & Wishing you a pleasant evening !